August 26, 2013

Waiting for the Shoe Drop

Do you ever feel like you are waiting for the other shoe to drop? I feel like most of my life, but especially the last three years or so, I have been waiting for the terrible, horrible part of my life. Now, not to say I haven't had tough moments in my life, I just think/know there are tougher, more absolutely heart-breaking moments around the corner. 

I am so incredibly lucky/blessed to have found an amazing man as a husband, found a job in my career field right out of college. I'm able to pay bills on time without worry, own a house, drive to work, support myself, etc. I just feel like my luck will run out someday and I am terrified of what that means. 

Thinking of how everything could go wrong often haunts me and I have to remember that I am here, I am meant to be where I am, and if something happens, it was meant to happen. Often when I feel a loss of control in my life, my head repeats "Everything happens for a reason. You may not know the reason now or ever, but it happened and somewhere out there, there was a reason". I hope this mantra helps me out in even my darkest times. 

*Please don't take this post as bragging or insulting in anyway. I try to remember just how fortunate I am every day and I know many, many others who are less fortunate. This is just how I feel.

August 16, 2013

3rd Anniversary

Well, on a happier note than the last two posts, Andrew and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary this past Wednesday! We went for our traditional steak at Jimmy's as we have every anniversary before this. It is a wonderful (not to mention delicious) tradition. 

August 14th, 2010
This year has been a relatively big one for us. We bought a house! We also watched Jon take his first vows, met and held (yes, both of us!) Viktoria Noelle, traveled to Maryland to see Ben, vacationed in Ireland - your first overseas trip, went in a hot air balloon ride, created a claim with our car insurance for your first car accident, and moved out of our first "home". I wouldn't have wanted to do any of these new experiences with anyone other than you by my side. You have showed me time and time again that I can lean on you when I can't stand on my own. You teach me how to love unconditionally, with incredible trust and respect. We balance each other out with your skepticism and my optimism, your logical with my emotional. After 7 years of being together, we have been through highs and lows together, like every relationship, but I love that we can just laugh and hug it out. You make me smile each and every day. I love you.

Ireland in March 2013

August 12, 2013

Miss You Most

So, I'm not sure if this is any good or anything, but I just wanted to share because it has been on my mind lately and I needed it to be said, if only for my sake. It doesn't really read like a poem, but its not a story either...
Also, disclaimer: I am not pregnant.

I miss him most on my birthday
The way he would ask about the countdown
Or the way my answer would light up his face
He never could understand what made the day so great

I miss him when I think about my wedding day
The way he should have been there, not just in spirit
Twirling me around in my sparkly dress
Wiping a tear from his eye

I miss him for the grandkids he’ll never meet
For the concert recitals & baseball games he would have enjoyed
For the proud way he would have hung their pictures up
The way he would have giggled finding out another was on the way

I miss him on holidays when the family is all gathered around
Watch the kids put on fashion shows and plays
And cheered them on as we played a game
or silently soaking in the family time, knowing things would never be the same

I miss him many times throughout the years,

but I will always miss him most on my birthday.

August 8, 2013

5 Years

"So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah I miss you

And I wish you were here
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here"
From Where You Are, Lifehouse

High School Graduation

August 6, 2013

From 4 room apartment to 3 bedroom house

Inevitably sometime in the future of owning this house, I will lose sight of just how monumental this house is. I will be stressed out and panicking about something or other and not take the time to really remember what a milestone this accomplishment is. If I ever whine to you about this house, please reference this post. 
Emily, never take having a roof over your head or food on your plate for granted. 

Top 10 Favorite Things About Owning a House
1. Laundry: Although I have to go down the same amount of stairs, I don't have to leave the house! I am just SO excited about these babies.

2. Dishwasher: My least favorite chore is the dishes. I think that says it all.
3. Ability to stomp and be loud: I can exercise by doing jumping jacks and not have to worry about the neighbors below me. I can listen to music pretty loud and not have to worry about whether I am being too noisy.
4. Space: We can start a family some day without putting a baby in a window-less room. Although, Harry Potter didn't grow up with a window and look at him now.
5. Kitchen Island: It actually makes me want to cook. Yes, you read that right. I chop and dice and slice across the whole counter just because I can.

6. Yard: I can't wait to set up a badminton net and play with friends and family.
7. Deck: Sitting outside with a fruit smoothie and my kindle on my deck sounds pretty relaxing every day after work.

8. Garden: I can try my hand at growing things! You may say, but Emily, you majored in biology. However, biology is quite a large subject. I can tell you a ton more about genetics than animals or plants.
9. Repair projects: One of the main reasons I loved this house was because I saw mainly cosmetic things we could change to update the house and make it ours. The foundation and electrical work is all recent and up to date.
10. Pets: I can get a puppy!! Eventually... when someone will be able to feed it and let it out and give it attention more than 4 hours a day. BUT I can have a pet!

Overall, Andrew and I feel so blessed to have this home to call our own. At times I was incredibly impatient (shocking, I know) and Andrew was always there to talk it out with and remind me that we needed to do other things before making this commitment. He's the logic to my emotion. It works well. I am a lucky, lucky gal! 

August 5, 2013

Random, Overdue Thoughts

First and foremost, we bought a house!! It is a cute, gambrel-style, split level. Although, as Courtney said, it doesn't feel like a split level. She may have just been making me feel better (because to be perfectly honest, I hate split levels), but I really feel that statement is true. Andrew says it is because when you walk in, the basement stairs are to the left instead of the right. I think it is because it has basically three stories, so the bedrooms aren't all off the kitchen hallway area. Whatever the case may be, I love the house and I can't wait to really start decorating!!

Due to the above, we have been updating and fixing like crazy! Here are some photos for your enjoyment:
I really love how the color of this room turned out. It is the brightest in the whole house, so it can definitely handle the darker gray color. We have big plans for this room, but for now, we ripped up the carpet and it will be the second room we redo with hardwood, pre-finished floor. When we ripped up the carpet, we unfortunately found this mess.
Thankfully, we found this early on! So thankful we decided to rip up the carpets to put down hardwood even before we moved into the house. We sprayed a hose at the door and figured out where it was leaking. Then, we called up a contractor. He had to take the entire door out to redo the bottom to ensure proper drainage i.e. not into our house. Since then, it has downpoured and it has been great! Yay!

This is our big project. One that we (ok, maybe it was just me) thought would take a lot less time. We have made great progress, however it has taken almost two months to get to this point. It is definitely hard because after you work 8/9 hours, you don't want to do more work when you get home. At least, I don't. Just being honest with you guys. BUT I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is what the whole room /hallway looks like right now. 
Doesn't it look so much better?! 

In other house news, we are getting a new dishwasher this weekend. Ours wasn't draining, which means it was clogged and honestly, it was old and not energy or water efficient. I'm so excited for the new one because it was a steamer to really help clean dishes as well as an easily removable filter to clean out the grossness that no doubt gets into the dishwasher. We also got a really good deal from Best Buy. Can't beat $20 removal, recycling of old washer, and installation. We were so lucky to get that deal. 

Andrew and I have been making so many fruit smoothies this summer. I combine bananas, strawberries, blueberries, whole fruit sorbet, and orange juice. SO GOOD. We ran out of ingredients last week and haven't been to the grocery store, like usual, and I am sorely missing the yumminess of those fruit smoothies. I think that will be the thing that gets us to really go grocery shopping. 

Speaking of our food habits, not sure if all of you know this, but when we lived in the city suburbs, we ate out a lot. However, living in the less city (still not as country as I grew up, but definitely less city-like), there are barely any places to eat. Well, that and we are creatures of habit, so it takes a lot for us to actually try a new place. But, this is turning into a good thing because we are cooking more! I am looking for new recipes that are easy, lactose-free (or at least can only include cheddar cheese), and quick... I know, we are so hard to please. 

Well, this has become a long post, but I'm glad I'm back. I feel like my life has finally gotten exciting again, and worthy of updates. For a while there, we were just working and surfing the web. Oh... except we went to IRELAND. Maybe next post. :)