Do you ever feel like you are waiting for the other shoe to drop? I feel like most of my life, but especially the last three years or so, I have been waiting for the terrible, horrible part of my life. Now, not to say I haven't had tough moments in my life, I just think/know there are tougher, more absolutely heart-breaking moments around the corner.
I am so incredibly lucky/blessed to have found an amazing man as a husband, found a job in my career field right out of college. I'm able to pay bills on time without worry, own a house, drive to work, support myself, etc. I just feel like my luck will run out someday and I am terrified of what that means.
Thinking of how everything could go wrong often haunts me and I have to remember that I am here, I am meant to be where I am, and if something happens, it was meant to happen. Often when I feel a loss of control in my life, my head repeats "Everything happens for a reason. You may not know the reason now or ever, but it happened and somewhere out there, there was a reason". I hope this mantra helps me out in even my darkest times.
*Please don't take this post as bragging or insulting in anyway. I try to remember just how fortunate I am every day and I know many, many others who are less fortunate. This is just how I feel.